marriage + you + me = a civil(ised) union
Marriages and relationships have changed enormously in recent decades in Ireland.
Lots of couples get married nowadays after having children, or after living together for years.
Civil ceremonies also mean that people that have been married in the past can remarry.
A positive change in Irish society was in 2010 when changes in legislation meant that Civil Partnerships in Ireland became recognized. Gay couples, whose relationships have not previously been given legal recognition by the State, may now formalise their relationships in the eyes of the law. It gives same-sex couples rights and responsibilities similar to civil marriage.
I am married almost 4 years. Most of it has been good; some of it great and there has been not so great times too.
My husband and I have very different personalities, our interests and hobbies are different, and our outlooks on life are different. What we share is the love we have for each other, the respect, the trust in each other and we know we want to spend the rest of our lives together. But we have to work at our marriage.
Along the (sometimes bumpy) path we have both learned a lot, and continue to do so. Allow me to share:
• Communication is critical in a relationship. Talk. Let each other know what is going on in your heads.
• Do not give each other the silent treatment. What does it achieve? Nothing!
• Make time for yourselves. Pick a night a week and go for a walk together, go to the cinema, get a take away and a DVD.
• Listen to one another and respect each other’s opinions.
• Try not to judge or think too much about other couple’s relationships. Concentrate on your own.
• Nobody is perfect – we all have our faults, we all have annoying habits.
• Is it really worth having a huge argument over taking out the bins, or not emptying the dishwasher? Come up with a way of handling this without causing World War 3! Do what I do and get a ‘post it’ note and write on it “Dear John, I would love it if you would empty all the dishes as you are so good at it, thank you! signed the Dishwasher.” It works for us – I am not nagging and my husband is not being nagged!
A friend of mine shared something with me recently. Her husband would always phone her as she was in the changing room of a shop! It was like he knew what she was up too. She would smile as his name flashed on her screen. This lady’s beloved husband passed away last year and every time she is in a changing room now she looks at her mobile and wishes he would ring.
Time is precious, so make the most of it with each other.
Karen Buchanan blogs weekly for us. She is a woman with real heart and soul. You wouldn’t make a mistake connecting with her to plan your wedding. Find her over at Weddings With Karen Buchanan.